The Waiting Room

Have been listening to Animal Collective's strawberry jam non-stop since I've been here. This album is so incredible and the sort of upbeat direction I'd love to take with music. Today was super sunny and I spent it mostly by myself and was so happy today for some reason. Just sort of became ok with everything. Walked over to food source and bought a sandwich and ice coffee and just lingered at a patio table for over an hour just enjoying the weather and listening to music by myself. I love days like that.

The last week was spent settling into being back at college and the like. I'm all moved in and my room is surprisingly quite spacious and comfortable. Love my roommate. Love my wii. Love cooking mama. Love skinny dipping in the cloisters. Loving life.

Had some quality father/daughter bonding time for like the first time in my life on Saturday. We went to New Hope which is like an hour North of Philly, my dad's hometown he hadn't visited in 20 years and bumped into random people he knew from forever ago. Was super emotional cause he used to be a drug addict and was coming back sober and successful. It was nice. It made me wonder if I hadn't been back to Eugene for 20 years what I'd be feeling and who I'd bump into. 

I've been working on a short story called the "waiting room," that's about a woman who wakes up in the middle of the night and drives to a waiting room and waits to see a doctor. It's all about this idea that we're always waiting for something in life, and ends up being a huge metaphor for life in the way in which we're always waiting for something permanent, and in the end how the only thing we have to wait for, and what we've been waiting for all along is death. And the god is in the form of a doctor and all that allegorical bullcrap. Maybe I'll post it when it's done.

I've been feeling pretty weird about this limbo period. Lately I've been feeling like I'm in a waiting room. Waiting for school to be over, waiting for a home (not dancing back and forth from Eugene and Philly, my parents house and a dorm), waiting for a permanent lover, a career, life to become "real life." But then I remember there's not much I can do about it and go back to playing cooking mama.