Hollaaa

Haven't written in this thing in forever. Had a really meta convo with kids at the FUCs show about twitter. I think twitter is kind of dumb. Duncan was trying to convince me why he's all about it but I remained unconvinced. So there's that, and then I bumped into Ren's blog and thought it was really hip and thought I'd give this thing another go. Woop.

Lots going on. Newly single (for the 50th time, right? But this time it's definitely legit) for about a month now. Pretty happy, but definitely wasn't a couple weeks ago. Being productive has helped. Finished recording an EP with post post which was amazing and awesome. Got a record label interested in us (http://www.awkwardcore.com/) and they're mixing/mastering and manufacturing all our CDs. Bomb! Also, about half an hour I finished a 25 page short story about a boy who lives at a motel and is denied any sort of cultural influence, and on his fifteenth birthday gets Songs of Leonard Cohen as his first record and is all blown away and shit. SO glad to have that out of the way, has been this super looming awful thing and now I can get fucked up on the weekends again cause that was pretty much the last important thing I have coming up, besides editing the documentary we're making about our band's recording process, which will just be fun. And then two finals I don't think will be too hard/don't really care about.

Went to New Jersey with Jon Friday and had lots of fun. Went to this huge warehouse full of old, cheap clothes divided into huge boxes labeled things like "Ugly Swtrs" "Sequin Dresses"and "70s Vests." That was bomb. 4/6 of the items I bought were things Jon picked out too. The two of us are the cutest bffs ever it is so ridic. My life would be like 1/4 less fun without him. Then we went to Mistuwa market place and ate ramen, green tea icecream and those waffle carps filled with red beans, bought some kimchi & rice and brought it home and have been eating it alot. Makes me feel super asian.

It looks really sunny and nice out. I need someone to drink whiskey sours & wine with all day and celebrate the fact that I'M SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE WITH THIS YEARR!!!!!

Unrevised short story "Sexual Cannibals"

A short story I wrote for Virgin Mawrtyr, the zine I run on campus. They should be completed by tomorrow. I wrote this in about 7 hours on uppers. I think most of the ideas I wanted to incorporate are present, but it clearly needs heavy revision that I just don't have time to do right now. Until then here is what I have so far.

Happy Together

" We discover Yiu-fai on the subway. He looks pensive, and then, in a maddeningly ambiguous moment, he appears to take something out of his pocket and lookat it for just a second-we can only surmise that this is what he is doing, since the shot only shows his face-and a tiny smile appears. Has he looked at the photo of Chang? As the subway train hurtles into the bright white station, freeze-frame. The End. The Turtles song continues, however, and we suddenly realize that Yiu-fai is still in love with Po-wing and probably always will be. The lyrics spell it loud and clear: "I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life." But maybe Stokes and Hoover say it best: 'Fai learns to get over Po-wing and on with his life. He doesn't stop loving Po-wing, just as he doesn't hose to love him to begin with, but he makes a choice about how to love him, where they can be 'happy together'-at a distance.'" (86 Brunette "Wong Kar Wai") 

http://www.vimeo.com/2147346

http://www.vimeo.com/214736

"All my life, there you go, oh please stay, just this once, anyway"

I don't remember how it started. I only remember the part where I get out of the school bus and watch it back up. I remember thinking that it was going awfully close to the hill, and then it was going to slide down if the driver wasn't careful. The bus slips. It hits the ditch and seemingly bounces back out on to road slamming into the man directing them in the front, and one other man on the other side of the road, just missing the man beside them. I run down into the road to see if the men are ok. The driver leaves. I scream at the last man standing to call the police but he is really creepy and starts getting really close to my face and telling me we have to work on my work ethic. I get scared and somehow manage to make it to a house that in my mind is Jesse's. I stumble in and there are people in the living room, I don't remember their faces. Jesse is in the bathroom getting out of the shower. I hug him and say it's been a rough day. Then for some reason Mo that hangs out at Roma and is friends with Cordell comes into the living room and points a gun at everyone in the living room. She screams, "It's been a rough day, ok!?" And I moan from the bathroom "Oh, god." She storms into the bathroom and screams "That's exactly what I've been hearing all day, and now I'm sick of it." And proceeds to shoot and miss 5 times. Jesse and I crouch into the corner and I am hiding behind his naked body in the bathroom. She shoots again and makes it this time in my neck and I crouch down with a towel over my face like I'm dead, but I'm just pretending so she won't shoot again. I do that a lot in dreams, as if I got shot I could just stay quiet and pretend I'm dead. I wake up a couple seconds after, pleased in relief that of course it's just a dream. With a giddy smile on my face I shift over to put my arms around my half naked lover only to remember he had left the day before.

Missed connections

FINALLY got a missed connection post on craigslist. I decided to wear my Steve Zissou hat and nerdy glasses that day for a class photo of my Film/Video I course at Penn. My heart literally stopped when I saw it. I probably won't respond to it, since it's probably just some big pseudo-hipster creep, but it's still exciting none-the-less.

"Girl W/ short hair, boots, a red beanie, and big glasses on Penn campus -m4w

It was this afternoon at UPENN

You're a girl dressed in black, with short black hair and a red beanie. You had big black nerdy glasses. I loved your boots and your big glasses. You were near the love sign in locust walk witha  bunch of people having a picture taken. By the way you were dressed I think we might have A LOT of things in common. I'm not a Penn student but I was visiting someone there. i don't think you will ever read this, but it won't hurt trying."

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mis/855503680.htmlhtt

Dreams

 I awake from a terrible nightmare that one of my oldest and bestest friends in the world tells me she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore. This sounds so silly but it was one of the scariest dreams I'd had for awhile. I remember distinctly in it that she looked me right in the eye and said we had never really been friends, we had nothing in common, we were just pretending. And that she thought I was really weird. And then Corey was with her and said she wasn't going to be my friend anymore either cause Nicole wasn't. And then it was strange because within in the dream I wondered if it was a dream because it seemed too bad to be real. Weird. Anyways it was a really sad way to wake up this morning, but at least I feel pretty rested for  8:00 in the morning.

I've been feeling super accomplished lately, especially since I just got my job at Uncommon Grounds, this cafe/restaurant kinda place on campus. I was lucky to get hired esp. cause I'd never had any dining hall experience. They just needed employees really badly and I happened to respond to the ad early enough. So I only work a few hours a week but, it's nice because it feels out my schedule and keeps me busy and extra money never hurt. It'll also be nice when I apply for other barista/food jobs cause then I'll have the experience. 

Anyways, I've been feeling really accomplished and too busy to really notice how lonely I am. Every morning I wake up at 8, take a shower, EAT BREAKFAST (which I never do), go to classes, get lunch, go to work, do homework, eat dinner, do more homework, spend some time with friends, talk to Jesse and then go to bed around 11 or 12. SO get this, I'm eating all of the meals, going to bed early, waking up early, AND getting all my shit done. I haven't even been drinking during the week. I swear it's like I'm a different person. BUT I'm still smoking healthily and not exercising. I was thinking about adding those onboard but that would just be too healthy and freak me out. I just hope all these positive changes don't make me have some nervous breakdown in the near future. But I guess we'll see.