Wack-Job Hotties

It's 5:30 a.m and I have been laying in bed since 10 p.m. My insomnia has gotten absolutely ridiculous and has only resulted in several hours of sleepless groaning, reality television watching, nacho-eating and internet lurking, only to find that Natalie Portman and Devendra Banhart are apparently dating. I can't decide if it's super adorable or super infuriating, and if it does make me angry, if I'm more jealous of Natalie Portman for getting to date Devendra Banhart, or the other way around. I've had a crush on Devendra for way longer though, and meeting him and having him put me on his guest list for the show in Philadelphia sort of obligates me to be on his side. He just really makes me want to date a boy that has longer hair than me so I could run my fingers through it. And then he'd wear it in cute buns and stuff. I read a bunch of really tragic articles claiming Portman's bad taste and pegging Banhart as a wack-job. She's fluent in Hebrew and he wears turbans, they're nerdy New York hipster celebrities, and I don't see how that's not cute, even if psychedelic folk is pretentious and passe.